The pressure to be a perfect parent and societal expectations can take a toll on their self-esteem. In this blog post, we will explore the top three reasons why parents have a hard time accepting themselves and provide some guidance on how to overcome these challenges.

1. Unrealistic Expectations:

One significant factor contributing to parental self-acceptance challenges is the presence of unrealistic expectations. In today's society, parents are bombarded with images of flawless parenting, portrayed by celebrities and social media influencers. This constant comparison creates an illusion of perfection, making parents question their abilities and choices. However, there have always been others that we compare ourselves to so this isn't about burying heads in the sand and never watching TV or social media. Our brains are designed to notice differences. Here are some ideas on how to work with your differences instead of trying to fight against them and become like others. 

What to do:

a) Focus on your strengths: Remember that every parent has their unique strengths and skills. Instead of fixating on your perceived shortcomings, celebrate the things you do well and acknowledge the positive impact you have on your child's life.

b) Embrace imperfections: Understand that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Embrace your imperfections as opportunities for growth and learning. Accept that making mistakes is a natural part of the parenting journey (or any process of growth), and it doesn't diminish your love or dedication.

c) Limit exposure to unrealistic portrayals: Be mindful of the media you consume and the social media accounts you follow. Surround yourself with positive influences that promote realistic and diverse representations of parenthood.

2. Parental Guilt:

Guilt is an all too familiar companion for many parents. Whether it's feeling guilty for not spending enough time with their children, using screen time as a temporary distraction, or making decisions that don't align with societal norms, guilt can eat away at self-acceptance.

What to do:

a) Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a friend. Understand that it's normal to have limitations and that taking care of yourself is crucial for being the best parent you can be.

b) Reflect on intentions and values: When guilt arises, take a step back and reflect on your intentions and values as a parent. Are you acting out of love, care, and concern for your child's well-being? If so, remind yourself that you're doing the best you can with the resources and knowledge you have.

c) Seek support: Share your feelings of guilt and self-doubt with trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Connecting with others who have experienced similar emotions can provide reassurance and perspective, helping you navigate through guilt and towards self-acceptance.

3. Comparison and Judgment:

Parents often find themselves trapped in a cycle of comparison, constantly judging their abilities based on other parents' perceived successes. This habit not only undermines self-acceptance but also damages self-esteem. Try to move beyond black and white thinking of good and bad to see all the shades of gray on the spectrums of thoughts, intentions, feelings, and behaviors.

What to do:

a) Embrace individuality: Each child and parent is unique, and what works for one family may not work for another. Embrace your individuality as a parent and focus on understanding your child's needs and your family's values. Trust your instincts and make choices that align with your unique circumstances.


b) Celebrate differences: Recognize that diversity in parenting styles and approaches is healthy and beneficial. Instead of judging others or feeling judged, appreciate the richness that different perspectives bring to the parenting journey. Surround yourself with people, places, and things that truly bring you joy. When you are feeling good about what is going on around you it is more likely that you will feel better about what you are doing as a part of it.

Join us for a live online workshop 6/28/23 at 7pm PST on Compassionate Self-Acceptance